Saturday, February 14, 2009

Wow, Deja Vu

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***STIMULUS BILL PASSES***
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"Dear Friends:

"These are perilous times. America stands at the precipice, and only swift & bold action can help us avert imminent disaster. Our political opponents have chosen to put politics over what we know is best for America, so their opinions & ideas must be ignored.

"We wish that our political opponents could have risen to meet this challenge. Frankly, we have to wonder if they even love America. We tried to work with them, but they were unwilling, so we must proceed with our plan.


Signed,
George W. Bush
Dick Cheney
2003"
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Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Great Pork Package of 2009


No doubt about it, the Great Pork Package of 2009 is a Democrat's wet dream: (1) More and more control over the lives of Americans, (2) the chance to buy more and more votes, and (3) an opportunity to remind us that we need you to "take care of us". Congratulations.

I know how much you folks love Hugo Chavez, I know how much you want to mimic the way he's ruling down there, but I hope you don't plan on re-naming America, "North Venezuela". Are you going to change the flag, too?

And to the GOP, you're no better. Could you have possibly screwed up your chance any more? From a hideous war in the Middle East to being completely asleep at the switch while financial markets burned - your bizarre mixture of arrogance and naivete has provided a perfect excuse for the Democrats to create a Western European-model socialist democracy here, where individual freedom used to reign.

A pox on both of your houses. You're causing great damage to my children's futures with your power grabs. Worst of all, we keep voting you thugs into office, giving you even more power.

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Friday, February 6, 2009

It's Time For a New Constitution


With all sincerity, I'd like to propose that we start from scratch and write a new Constitution.


In my humble opinion, the American Constitution is the most maginificent document ever written by man. It has created the most innovative, open, free, powerful & wealthy nation on the planet. I'm not "Proud to Be an American." I'm lucky. So very lucky. I did nothing to deserve not being born in, say, Nigeria. I just lucked out.


But let's stop kidding ourselves. We're no longer adhering to the spirit of the Constitution. And if we're going to insult and ignore such a wonderful document, it would be much more respectful if we'd just retire it.


A few ideas to get things started:


"All men are created equal." Well, to begin with, "men" will have to replaced by "people" to satisfy our Rules of Political Correctness, which we'll discuss in a moment.


And, the American public is now convinced that we are not born equal. If you are born of a certain race, you have no chance to succeed on your own, and it's up to the government to take from others to help you. See, it's now up to the government to make us all equal, after we're born.


The First Amendment. Clearly, as a result of Political Correctness and the very notion of a "Fairness Doctrine" (ha ha), Freedom of Speech is only allowed for one end of the political spectrum. Say something they don't like and it's over for you. Criticize a member of a CVG (Certified Victim Group) and they will divert the conversation by calling you something that ends in "ist." So dump the whole idea.


I would further suggest that the Democrat party create a website that we are all required to visit that specifically lists the words and phrases that we are not allowed to say. Each American will be required to visit the web site daily for updates. If, at some point, this list includes more than half of the English language, we can switch it to a list of words and phrases that we are allowed to say. Someone will have to monitor this.


Personal Responsibility & Self Reliance. This is where it will get tricky. See, the Constitution doesn't actually use the words "personal responsibility" or "self reliance." It just infers them, strongly, throughout. Freedom from control by the government. Freedom to succeed or fail based on your own efforts.


Well, as we know, notions like hard work, sacrifice, discipline, self reliance and personal responsibility for our actions are now equated with greed. Plus, failure hurts our feelings, and that simply can't happen.


It is now officially the responsibility of professional politicians and the federal bureaucracy to take care of us. So the above-mentioned qualities are not only not required, they are clear signs of evil and cannot be tolerated.


Well, that's a start. But let's at least be honest: It's time for change.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Conservatism, R.I.P.


I'll guess that the number of "GOP RIP" and "Conservatism RIP" pieces numbers in the thousands by now, so here's my take to throw on the pile.


Yes, conservatism as we know it is toast. But it's not because of George W. Bush's tragic, ideology-driven, America-as-policeman-of-the-world, ill-conceived war in Iraq. It's not because the GOP is tone-deaf on abortion, or because the Republicans knee-jerked away from regulation of financial markets, a truly historic blunder (although the Democrats are equally culpable in this mess). It's not even that they think that Sarah Palin (good gawd) is their political savior.


This death has been decades in the making, and it's the result of a patient, steady narrative supplied by the American Left. Liberals have succeeded in convincing America of the following:


1. It is the responsibility of a bunch of professional politicians and the federal bureaucracy to make everything "fair", to make us all "even" and "equal", and to see to it that we are all "happy." The Constitution, of course, says that we're all created equal, not that the government should make us all equal, but the liberals don't or won't see the obvious distinction. And, by the way, business profits are a sign of pure evil as well.


2. Personal responsibility, hard work, sacrifice and discipline are now equated with greed. In other words, they're bad qualities. See, if Person A sees Person B working hard and succeeding, then Person A's feelings may be hurt. And that is no longer tolerated. So by extension, competition, innovation and success may hurt someone's feelings, and are no longer "good" things.


3. If any endeavor is considered "too hard", then the standards for that endeavor must be lowered so that no one's feelings are hurt. We shouldn't use red ink when grading school papers, because it's too mean and may hurt someone's feelings, for example. Use purple, that's a nicer color. Certainly, when that student has a job in the real world, everyone around him will do everything they can to avoid hurting his feelings.


4. Political Correctness is mandatory, or you will be punished. The examples of this are simply too many to choose from, but I don't think I need to provide them. This has been a brilliant move by the American Left, because it allows them to control the conversation. Say anything critical of a Certified Victim Group, and you will be shouted down as a racist, or sexist, or whatever-ist, and they win the debate by pure volume. The First Amendment only applies to the Left. Absolutely freaking brilliant.


5. Finally, risk is bad, we can't handle it, and it's up to the federal bureaucracy to save us. The economic meltdown provided the perfect excuse for the American Left to attack capitalism as a whole. If I make an investment decision and that investment decision goes south, that should be my responsibility. But not any more. Now, if someone makes a bad investment decision, they're a victim, and the fault lies with the American capitalist system. Once again, thank goodness we have a bunch of politicians and the federal bureaucracy to "save us".


Personally, I think that passing a fundamental personal economics course should be required before students can graduate from high school. But the American Left wouldn't like that, because creating a populace that is self-reliant goes against everything Democrats stand for.


Year by year, little by little, the American Left has convinced the American public that it is too feeble to take care of itself, that it's a victim, and that it has to watch what it says. And it has won the battle.


And the GOP has allowed it to happen. This is a self-inflicted, fatal wound.


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